2003-07-29 - 7:32 p.m.
Last Wednesday night I actually went out with Stephen (the professor I've been obsessed with, formerly known here as SD). He emailed me a week before asking if I were free on Wed and if I wanted to go out for drinks, and of course I said yes. So Wednesday we went on the bus together to this place and had drinks out on one of their patio tables. It was such a nice night! I learned so much more about him, how he's adopted and wants to find his real parents, how he's of Russian heritage with a very untraditionally spelled Irish last name, about his vacations in Europe, about how he rarely calls anyone (he hates using the phone), that we have a lot of the same personality traits in common, just so many things! I'm glad because I understand him a lot better now. He's so very interesting and brilliant and adorable.
It was around 1 am or so when we left (the place closed at 1 I guess) and he walked me all the way home. We spent some time alone in my room for a while...it was so nice to finally be alone with him! He's so passionate and very sweet as well. He left a little after 2:30 and I remained awake for the rest of the early morning. We talked about seeing each other again after he gets back from New York in a few weeks, to celebrate my birthday/going back to school! It was such a great night, I loved being close to him, I loved all of the many complements he gave me, and I also loved how he thanked me a few times for spending the evening with him! I can't wait until next month!
Ever since that night I can't stop thinking about him. I wish I could see him and talk to him a lot more than I presently do. I've been wondering if my feelings are becoming stronger. I wonder if having him in my room for a while was actually a good idea. I loved that we were finally alone, and we didn't do anything very serious but it may be dangerous to me to develop even stronger feelings for him. Because, let's face it, I will probably barely see him. He's got a lot going on in his life, teaching, writing papers for publication, etc and I got the idea that he has his own small group of friends he likes to talk to/hang out with and only lets others in on his terms only. I doubt that we will date regularly. The most I can probably hope for is that I could at least become a good friend. I just don't want get get hurt...keeping expectations realistic will help with that.
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